


There's A Light That Never Goes Out

by retrolollies



Category: Dear Evan Hansen - Pasek & Paul/Levenson
Genre: Ableist Language, Angst, Coming of Age, Eventual Sibling Bonding, F/F, F/M, M/M, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Racism, Rick Riordan au, Self-Harm, Slow Burn, The Author Regrets Everything, Tree Bros
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-03-24
Updated: 2018-03-24
Packaged: 2019-04-07 04:18:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,740
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14072754
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/retrolollies/pseuds/retrolollies
Summary: Evan finds that he is the light to those in need while Connor finds out that the world is not so dark as it feels.Otherwise titled: The author re-read the Rick Riordan books while listening to DEH and need to get it out of his head otherwise he will flip.(REUPLOAD WITH SOME EDITS BYE)





	1. Chapter 1: Didn't want to be a hero

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! Yes I reuploaded this shit! Sorry if the story seems too rushed I really wanted to go to the camp part. Also apologies if I describe anything wrong, I'm new at this. Feel free to give me feedback on my writing xoxo
> 
> TW for this chapter:  
> Violence, Suggestive language, Murder, Death, Body horror, Anxiety

School trips are supposed to be fun and not end in a dead substitute, a floating sword, and a family murder but that wasn’t the case. Well. Technically Evan Hansen didn’t think school trips as fun. It was more like a free ticket out of class but with the free package of sweaty bus trips and annoying classmates. He never knew how to get along with them and never saw a reason why if he is going to move in a few months. He forgotten how many schools he’s been in, but he knows for sure that something is going to happen to get him kicked out.

“Hey, earth to Hansen…”

Evan jolted his head up to meet his best and only friend, Jared Kleinman, asshole extraordinaire who he only sticks with because of he is “family friends”. He really doesn't deserve better, at least he never tried to get better ones. Jared was dressed in his casual everyday clothing of khaki shorts, graphic shirt, and an opened button-down shirt like he never changes anything other than color or print. Evan never questioned it, he wasn’t the well dressed of people with simple jeans, a graphic shirt (some that Jared steals and never returns),a grey jacket and off brand vans. At least it was an upgrade from his blue-shirt-khaki and uggs phase he had in eighth grade. 

“Were you mind-jerking it to that missing girl again?”Jared smirks. Evan is used to Jared being mildly impolite but this time, he saw the line and shot himself across it with pure glee.

“Um...what? I don’t- it wasn’t-look her name was Zoe and she wasn’t that pretty-” Jared practically folded himself in laughter “I mean that I wasn’t… “mind-jerking it”. Nobody never,like, seen her since seventh grade so…”

It’s been three years since Zoe and the rest of the Murphy family has been seen on the face of the Earth. The last time he saw Zoe was when he was in seventh grade. It was on the first day of school. Zoe was in the front of the school, pacing around and jumping when someone yells or runs. Seventh grade Evan didn’t have Jared in the morning, so he sat on a bench alone and at that point. After a few minutes her brother showed up with brusies on his face. He grabbed Zoe by the arm and ran off. That's the last Evan has saw of them. A day later, Cynthia Murphy, Zoe and her brother's mother who was insanely rich, was found dead in her house. Although the house was in shambles, there was no trace of the Murphy kids, only a few clothing missing and a pistol that was owned by Cynthia. After that, people thought Zoe's brother murdered the family and ran away. 

“The Greek gods! Almighty titans of earth, sea, and sky! But even they were children once. And they didn't have it easy! Their father, Kronos, feared the day his children would one day inherit the earth. So what did he do?”

Mr. Sherman called out to the disinterested group of teens. No one took him seriously. He had the professor™ appearance, tweed jacket, long beard and all with the addition of a wheelchair and a latin class full of troubled kids. He had a dusty beard that he would scratch before asking a question. His eyes squinted to the crowd of teens in front of him. 

None of them looked like they knew the answer or care to know it. “He ate them.” The voice came out from the back of the group where Mr.Dodds stood. He was an oddball substitute the type that phased into the school and no one knows when he came. He was dressed in a cherry red button up shirt, black slacks, with a leather jacket and dress shoes with mysterious brown stains splattered on it. He had a rusty face like a guy from a cowboy movie and greasy brown slicked back hair. 

Mr. Sherman looked down as if he were to hold himself from stabbing himself. “One child, Zeus, escaped and devised a plan to rescue his siblings. He tricked Kronos into eating a rock. What do you think happened next?” 

Again another wave of silence moved across the group. “He vomited them up!” Another call from Mr. Dodds with a grin painted on his face. He cackled as the students glared at him. 

“Um...Jared? Do we have a test on this? I don’t understand this.”

“Hell if I would know, man” 

“Seriously Jare-”

“EVAN HANSEN! Meet me by the Sphinx”

Mr.Dodds yelled out to in the museum. Everyone turned to look at Evan, the worst situation to be put in. Jared patted his back as he turned to leave. As he slowly walked over, his knees buckled on every step and swayed his head as he looked at the polished floor. Lucky for him, the sphinx was isolated from the group and far enough that people couldn’t see him cry. When he got to the sphinx Mr.Dodds was leaning on the wall next to the statue of the Sphinx. 

“Evan Hansen! I’ve heard many things about you.” He practically leaned over Evan.

“Uh...You did? I didn’t think I was worth talking about-” 

“In your records, it says you were in five schools in the past six years. One might question your parentage.”

“Oh, my mom gets transferred to different hospitals so we don’t stay that in the-”  
“And your father?”

Evan looked at the floor trying to focus on breathing.  
“I-I never knew him..he left before I was born.”

He looked up to see Mr. Dodds with a crooked frown that grew into an open unhinged jaw with jagged teeth. His face pulled itself apart and left a skinless bat-like head in its place with large human eyes protruding from where bats would have its eyes. His arms opened up and leather jacket expanded to wings with his legs snapping backward and sprung out coffee colored hair. Out of shock, Evan scurried backward, falling backward in the process. He felt a warmth on his chest and it all made sense what to do next. 

-

It was a summer afternoon when Heidi sat Evan down for the talk. Not the birds and the bees but more the birds and things that eat birds. Evan was eight at the time and wasn’t aware of the situation or the life he lives in and will live in.  
“Evan, I need you to listen to me. Ok?” Heidi bent over putting her hand on his shoulder. He didn’t talk that much as a child so he nodded. “When you grow up, things, bad things, will come and I will try my best to protect you but if I’m not there..”  
She pulled out a necklace of a metal chain and a pendant that looked like a rock with an odd shaped F engraved on it. “Use this. It’s-It was your fathers and you can use it to protect you.” She wrapped and locked it onto Evans' neck. “I love you” She pulled him into a mom hug, running her hands through his hair like it’s the last time she’ll see him. From that point on, his life was shadowed with fear of what his mother warned him of. 

-

Even though Evan was drowned in an ocean of fear, he pulled his pendant off (which was a lot easier than Evan built himself up to) and grasped it in a fist. I need help I need help, Evan felt his hand drop with more weight in it. He turned to look at it and the tiny rock was now a golden double-edged sword with some strange markings that Evan couldn’t make out in the middle. The monster substitute lunged towards the boy with a vibrating shriek. Without thinking, Evan hurled the sword at the monster and missed. The monster looked behind at the flying projectile and let out a series of squeaks which could have been laughter or coughing up some other poor sap. It turned back to the boy and leaped toward him. At that moment Evan knew he was dead meat, however, events planned out differently. Before chowing down the kid with its massive jaws an end of a sword shot out from the back of the monster. Letting out a deafening shriek, the monster burned out of existence like a paper set on fire. The sword dropped and clattered in front of the pale-faced Evan. He didn’t know if it was a dream or something so he crawled over to the sword. He heard rolling of a wheelchair and Mr.Sherman calling his name from a distance but Evan paid no mind. As soon as he put a finger on the leather-wrapped handle he immediately passed out. 

-

Next thing he knew he was in the principal's office sweating pinballs and clutching on the papers for his suspension. Jared sat in the seat across him. The principle said he would step out “to get some air” which he came to learn, from a particular Jared, it was code for smoking weed. Mr. Sherman walked into the room with a faint hint of weed.  
“I just discussed the situation with the headmaster. Look... I know you’re a good kid but this is a no-tolerance high school. You were supposed to stay with the group and you could have gotten seriously hurt from passing out without assistance.” Mr. Sherman took the seat next to Evan as if it were to calm him.

Evan stifled a sob and the anxiety now claimed him. The warmth of the pendant was gone and the wave of adrenaline has passed now it was just the regular wimpy pathetic Evan who couldn’t last one school year without something happening. Evan’s mom says it the hospitals moving her but it usually happens after Evan gets in trouble like when he threw the fire alarm after trying to present a project in the fifth grade. To him it wasn’t his fault he had his reasons but to everyone, he was just another troublemaker that wasn’t worth anything and had the future stuck in subway making sandwiches for bitchy customers.

“But I didn’t-I was-! You heard it! I heard you roll into the room you must've seen Mr. Dodds lure me to the other room and he attacked me and then I had a sword and-and” Evan blinked back tears and sucked in shallow breaths. He looked at Jared as if he would find some sort of help from him. 

“We never had a teacher named Mr. Dodds..”Although Jared looked concerned his face was the same face he does when he says I told you so but it wasn’t aimed at Evan.

Evan knew he was a mistake. He never saw his father, never had friends that weren’t forced, he has to take drugs and go to special classes and go to therapy and now... 

“I’ll drive you home come on.” Jared broke the silence and pulled Evan outside before he had a full-blown panic attack. “Hey and uh... Tell your mom to call me when you're ready.”

-  
The car ride was short and quiet. Jared didn’t play his album of the cats musical or try starting a conversation. It was just silent. Evan watched the quiet neighborhood as the car rolled past. He has only been in that town for a few months and it was only a matter of time… 

The car pulled into the house’s driveway. Without saying anything Evan rushed out of the car and practically ran into the house.

“Evan? Is that you” Heidi walked into the living room wiping a dish towel on her hands. “School doesn’t end until another hour, did you need me to pick you up-I- Sorry! I didn’t know I-”

Evan burst into tears. He sucked in air like he was on the verge of death. Pain spread over Evan’s chest. Heidi dropped everything and came to Evan’s side. It was the same method they went through and the same warm hug that comes after the attack. 

“Hey, honey do you want some brownies? They’re fresh!” Heidi smiled and squeezed Evan’s arms. She wiped the tears off of Evan’s face and gave him a kiss on the forehead and walked into the kitchen. Evan glumly sat on in the kitchen table shoving a brownie in his mouth while his mom washed dishes. Maybe food might take away the pain.

“Mom I guess you know already..” 

Heidi continued washing the dish with a slower, softer tone. “Yes, honey, but I love you no matter what.” She put the last dish on the rack and wiped her hands. She sat across Evan and gave him the same face she did that night she gave him the necklace, eyebrows furrowed and a weak smile. 

“You won’t believe me but I was just like you when I was a kid.”

“A failure?”

Heidi laughed while Evan stammered an apology. “No, I understand. When I grew up I never met my mom. My father would send me to different schools. I felt that I could never fit in. Well-until I found a place where people, just like you and me, can go and be ourselves and be safe.”  
Evans face lit up.

“Was dad like that?”

Heidi smile died down and she looked down like she was remembering the good times. “Your father was just like you- kind, handsome-” She pinched his cheeks causing Evan to blush ”But he wasn’t like us- not exactly. I met him in the woods in New Jersey. I was on a bridge over a small creek when he came over to me. He loved pointing out every tree and plant and told me the names of it- like you do. He was so smart and kind so we hit it off and you came to the world” Heidi smirked

“Ew! mom gross!”

“But your father does love you. He had to leave you- he didn’t have a choice... He did leave you the necklace because he wants to protect you. At the place, I won’t have to worry about you getting hurt.”

“Okay. I’ll go.” Evan really didn’t but if it protects him then he would do it if it means his mom will be happy.

“Okay. Pack a small bag of clothes and meet me in the car.” 

Evan ran halfway to his room before running back to the kitchen. “Oh, mom Jared wants you to call him?” Heidi patted herself to find her phone “Thanks for reminding me!”  
Evan proceeded to his room and decided to grab a backpack and pack underwear first then clothing. Clothing you can replace. Underwear is a need. He threw in a picture of his mom and him on a forest hike she took him on in seventh grade and tree book his mom gave him for his fourth birthday.He ran to the car and climbed inside to see Jared riding in the back. 

“Wassup homie?” Jared sat there with a full-length bronze sword next to him and a full backpack on his lap like the ones you see hikers wear. “Got your sword?”

Evan, stunned and too tired to ask questions, pulled his pendant into view.  
“Alright. Let’s go to Camp Half-Blood.”


	2. Chapter 2: The Wolf And The Girl

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Evan arrives at camp but something tracks them down first.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW for this chapter:  
> Graphic descriptions, Death, Thoughts of Suicide,

After a few minutes of arguing between Jared and Heidi, they pulled up next to a sign of a farm called “Delphi Strawberry Service”. It was already dusk and not exactly the optimal forest hike conditions. 

“Are you sure it’s the right place it doesn’t look...” right... Evan thought  
Jared pulled himself out of the car with and looked around. “Yeah, you’re new just let your eyes adjust.”

Evan and Heidi followed Jared out of the car. Evan squinted at the sign he swore was wood- has shifted the words into Camp Half-Blood. Huh.

They trekked the woods through the tall pine trees and uneven terrain. The deeper into the forest they went, the more the trees stopped sounding like trees. Evan noticed Jared gripped his sword harder and adjusted his glasses. He pulled Heidi closer and whispered something next to her. The group suddenly stopped when Heidi turned and grabbed Evan by the shoulders. 

“Listen I need you to go to Camp. Jared will take you. Don’t turn back. Don’t stop for anything” She put her hands on Evan’s cheek. He met her eyes, both now filled with tears. “I love you so much.”

Before Evan could process what she said, Jared snatched onto Evans' arm and pulled him away from Heidi. He turned to see his mother in an alert stance facing the shadows around her . A shadow jumped out of the trees and approached Heidi revealing the beast . A large black wolf with eyes that glowed red. 

She yanked off her hairpin that grew into a full-length sword like Jared’s sword, a long bronze blade with leather bound to hilt. The wolf growled at her, his eyes growing brighter. He lunged towards her. She took her turn of attack and swung at the wolf. The wolf however was faster. He dodged the attack and let his mouth open up to Heidi’s neck.

The wolf pried itself off her, licking its mouth of blood. Evan could already see a torch lights from behind Jared when he heard a ghastly howl behind him. His love for his mother overtook his sense of self preservation. 

He ripped his hands off of Jared’s grasp and bolted in the direction of the noise. He could hear Jared yelling from behind him but he kept running. This moment he didn’t stop and cry, he didn’t run to safety, he didn’t notice what he was doing, he just wanted his mom safe.

When he got to his mother all her saw was her body face down on the floor of the forest, blood smeared on the tree behind her and splattered across the gro forest ground. Heidi Hansen was dead. 

Now you’re alone. 

The beast paid no mind to his mother anymore. He wasn’t there for her. Evan didn’t know what came over him but he grabbed his pendant and ran towards the wolf. He could hear Jared and other voices yelling catching up to him but he could give less of a shit. The sword materialized and he threw it to the wolf. The sword flew to the wolf's head and hacked it off, blowing the minotaur to dust. The sword stopped it’s animated movements and landed between the two Hansens. Evan fell to his knees. He didn’t feel like crying or screaming. He just sat there.

Jared caught up to Evan with a two silhouettes of people behind him. “Evan! Thank gods you’re still alive…” Jared’s eyes peeled off Evan and to the other lifeless body in front of him. 

After the static of thoughts in Evan’s head his body decided to take over. His body decided that he can’t be alive without his only family. He snatched the sword that was given to him long ago to protect him to now end his life. 

Before he could go through his plans a wave of exhaustion came over him. He hit the floor, unconscious and still alive. 

-  
  
Chucking a sword at a minotaur is a lot more exhausting than Evan thought. When he gained some consciousness he found himself on a bed in some cabin. From the lighting he could tell it was near night time before he slowly fell back to sleep.

Sleeping felt different. The dreams felt hazy and more intrusive than the ones he would have. One dream in particular stuck with Evan. 

Evan opened his eyes to a purple and blue haze. The floor he stood on was solid yet reacted and reflected like water. When he looked around, it seemed that there was never end, just shadows. The only thing there with him was a large willow tree. He walked closer, pushing away the leaves as he got closer to the middle. When he got to the trunk it seemed, alien. From the roots gems grew in spirals on the surface of the bark and up into the leaves. The roots were jagged with more, much larger gems and crystals growing around it. Evan never seen such a tree, and he never had such a descriptive dream before. That's when he noticed a figure sitting beside him against the trunk. Evan turned down to look at it. 

The figure belonged to a girl about the age of Evan. Her sepia hair cascaded down her shoulders, braided on the top with white flowers. She had an oval face with freckles spotted across it. Her eyes was gold and seemed to shine through the cloudy haze. Her apparel was reminiscent of a ancient greek traditional dress Evan saw in the museum. It was a white silky fabric strapped to her shoulders that was shaped in a flattering V-neck that was strapped around her waist with a golden band. The fabric ended at the her ankles were her sandals wrapped around. 

Evan noticed how long he’s been staring and tried to look away before the girl spoke. “Who are you?” Her voice was soft and sweet but she shifted herself away from Evan. 

Evan put his hands up to show he was unarmed “N-No I’m Evan Hansen. I-I don’t want to hurt you.” Evan moved closer to the girl who didn’t flinch away this time. “Uh… W-what’s your name?”

The girl looked at Evan intensely but moved her expression from fear to a much more calmer tone. “You don’t belong here…” Her words stabbed into Evan. It wasn’t uncommon for Evan to have nightmares about pretty girls telling him he wasn’t worth shit, but this felt new. 

The girls eyes grew brighter and her eyebrows furrowed. Evan felt his ears pop and deafen as if he was being pulled in and out of water. He winced in pain as the ringing in his ears became louder. 

The girl tilted her head. Her image flickered between a small child and the older teen girl while her eyes grew even brighter. The ground shook while large crystal shards shot out of the water surface. “Evan Hansen, you're glowing.”

The world imploded around Evan and with that he woke up with a jolt and two teens shocked out of their pants.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh hey, so you probably have an idea who the girl is in the dream. Sorry, you won't see much of her but I will try to make her alive through other characters. Remember to leave Kudos and Comment!

**Author's Note:**

> Ok I know the other kids weren't in this chapter but they will be in the next one. This is my first fic so please leave feedback on what I can do better. 
> 
> Oh and Evan's necklace is [this](https://encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcTlL-Abt32LzfhgN_uCqKONNcunLFxRjBUDuPQ9WmmSCIqQKCPB)
> 
> Remember to leave Kudos and Comment!


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